The Jedi Temples Christmas Party
by Ender The Time Lady
Summary: The Jedi Temple is celebrating Christmas. Who knows what will happen at their party? Many chapters to come. Warning: Randomness inside! Do not read if you have no sense of humor!
1. Beverages, Battles and Plots

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter One: Beverages, Battles and Plots

AN: I do not own Star wars. No duh, I'm not that lucky. Beware, many people are OOC. But in a humorous way!

The Jedi Council was having a very important meeting. Well, it was more of a debate really. The Council sat in their chairs, looking at each other suspiciously. Then Yoda spoke up. "Have eggnog at the party, we should." He demanded. "No! We must have Pepsi!" Mace Windu cried out. "We will have Coke!" another master insisted. "Never! We need to have Mountain Dew!" "I'd rather die!" Someone proclaimed. "Let us have Sprite!" A very long argument began. Then a voice cried "Stop! We shall decide this in a game of cards!" Everyone agreed, and then proceeded to put on their best poker faces.

Ten Minuets Later

The Council sat around a table. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Then a voice triumphantly uttered two words. "Go Fish."

Five Minuets Later

Yoda was dancing triumphantly around the rest of the council members who were looking depressed. Mace Windu was clinging to a bottle of Pepsi and sobbing. None of the council members noticed Obi-Wan devising a plan… one so horrid, none would be able to escape it! Yes, he, Obi-Wan Kenobi was going to finally complete the mission of pranksters throughout the temples history. He was going to spike the eggnog!


	2. Preperations and Recruits

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter 2: Preparations and Recruits

AN: I just realized that I forgot to mention many things in the previous chapter. Sorry about that! Anyways, this is set before TPM, and Obi-Wan is still Qui- Gons Padawan. He is also a huge prankster. I don't plan on updating again until I get 5 reviews. Please enjoy, thank you Wolf and Blaze for inspiration. You guys rock!

Michelle: I feel lazy. I'm not doing the disclaimer. HEY! ANAKIN! GET YOUR BUT OVER HERE!

Anakin: What do you want?

Michelle: *Pulls out lightsaber and points it at Anakin*

Anakin: Oh fine. Michelle doesn't own star wars or anything that else that's mentioned. She does own herself and many of the characters made up here.

Michelle: Good job. *hugs Anakin*

Anakin: Gaah! What did I do now!

Michelle: OMGYOU'RETHEBESTCHARACTEREVER!

Anakin: Alright then… let's get on with the story okay?

Obi-Wan ran through the halls. He knew that he didn't have much time. He jumped in the passenger seat of a green speeder. His Master was there, and instantly started to drive.

"They're having eggnog Master!" Obi-Wan gasped out. His Master gave a nod of approval. The speeder came to a sudden stop in front of a liquor store. Qui-Gon dashed in and grabbed five bottles of everything. He quickly paid and returned to the speeder. The two quickly returned to the temple. Obi-Wan checked his watch. "Only five minuets! That's the quickest we've ever gone!" He exclaimed. Obi-Wan then dashed into the hall to make a distraction. Just before he could "accidently" have his lightsaber break the lights in the hallway, he bumped into someone. A girl, probably only eleven. She had a Padawan braid, too short for her to have been a Padawan very long. "I know what you're doing." She whispered. "I'm going to help. We can pretend to get into a fight and begin dueling. That should give your Master time to get the stuff hidden." "Why should I trust you?" Obi-Wan hissed. "Because if you don't, I'll tell everyone here." "Fine." He spat out. "What did you say your name was anyway?" "I didn't." She said with a grin. "But my name is Michelle." They got up and began to yell. "Hey, why'd you bump into me?" She yelled. "Couldn't you use your Jedi powers to look where you're going?" A crowd began to form. "Well why didn't you Miss. Jedi Padawan?" Obi-Wan shot back. "I've been a Padawan for five minuets! Unlike you, I haven't had years to figure out the force!" She retorted. By now quite a few people were watching.

Qui-Gon heard the yelling from the hall. "What's Obi-Wan doing?" He thought to himself. "I need to unload the speeder now! And I need a distraction to do so!" Then he heard the sound of lightsaber's being ignited. He smiled to himself. Obi-Wan must be faking it. They'll duel, and he'd unload the speeder. Brilliant! Everyone in the room would dash and see the fight. Nobody would notice him!

Michelle jumped, ducked and dodged. She really had no idea how to fight, so she was making it up. Hopefully it looked convincing enough. She leaped backwards. She was letting Obi-Wan drive her back, farther and farther, just until she could reach the power box… Yes! She gave a wild swing. Her lightsaber flew out of her hands, straight into a little grey box. The lights flickered, and then died. Instantly, she was off. She ran through the crowds, not stopping until she reached her chamber. She slid open the door. The lights were still on in the room. She had done some tinkering with the wires, and now the place ran on its own power. Michelle sat down and grinned. Then she remembered. She had forgotten her lightsaber!

AN: Michelle: Well, What do you think?

Obi-Wan: It's good! Could use more me though…

Qui-Gon: You think everything could use more you.

Obi-Wan: Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! *pouts*

Michelle: Well, Who do you think I should introduce next?

A: Nobody

B: Dooku (Remember, Qui-Gon's not dead, so Dooku's still good!)

C: Siri Tachi

D: Some younglings to assist Obi-Wans plot

Obi-Wan: Who's she talking to?

Qui-Gon: I have no idea.

Obi-Wan: I think she's insane.

Michelle: Shut up or I'll kill you off in a gruesome and embarrassing way.

Obi-Wan: All hail Michelle! She is our Goddess!

Michelle: That's much better.


	3. Lightsabers and NotASith

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter 3: Lightsabers and Not-A-Sith

AN: Well, the reviews have spoken. Guess whose here!

Dooku: ME!

Michelle: Yays! Dooku is not a sith. Everyone treat him nice, okay?

Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda and Mace: Fine.

Michelle: That means you put away your lightsaber Mace.

Mace: Never!

Michelle: *Aims Death Star laser at Mace*

Mace: Yes ma'am. *Puts away lightsaber*

Michelle: Much better. *Glares at Mace*

Michelle: I don't own Star Wars, to my great disappointment.

Jedi Knight Dooku walked down the hall. The lights had gone out five minuets ago, and he thought some idiot had knocked them out. Then he bumped into somebody. "Ow! Watch where you're going you idiot! " A familiar voice cried out. "Qui-Gon?" Dooku exclaimed. "Oh, hi master! Um… I'm not doing anything important right now, totally not going to pull any pranks…" Qui-Gon stammered out. Dooku sighed. "Note to self." He mumbled. "Don't drink the eggnog at the party." He heard the sound of his former Padawan dashing off. Then he came to the hall with the main power box. Feeling around with his hands, he noticed that it was damaged, probably by a lightsaber. Dooku rolled his eyes at the lengths his former Padawan and his padawan would go to for a prank. He then proceeded to make his way through the halls, trying to find the backup power box. When he reached it, he noticed the system hadn't registered the power failure. Apparently lightsabers didn't register with it. He flipped it open and typed in the override code, 42.

As lights flooded the hall, he headed back to the main power box to see the damage. Then he noticed something on the floor. A lightsaber or more specifically, his new Padawans lightsaber. He picked it up and marched for his apartment, his face grim.

AN: Did you like Dooku's chapter?

Dooku: It was great! Pure me with a bit of Qui-Gon!

Michelle: I'm glad you liked it. Am I in trouble for helping with the prank?

Dooku: Yes. A lot of trouble.

Michelle: Oh, fudgesicles….

Obi-Wan: She's doomed.

Qui-Gon: Well, since she helped us with our prank, we should at least get her a cool looking tombstone.

Obi-Wan: I agree! I'll go place the order!

Michelle: Mommy…

Anakin: Hey! You're scaring her!

Obi-Wan: What are you doing here, we haven't met you yet!

Anakin: I don't know. I'm here because I'm cool.

Luke: Hi guys!

Dooku: You aren't even born yet!

Luke: That matters why?

Dooku: Point taken. Carry on.

Michelle: This is just getting weird.

Qui-Gon: Frankly, I agree.

Michelle: Want to get some Tim Horton's?

Qui-Gon: Sure. They have great donuts!

Michelle: Not to mention there hot chocolate…

Qui-Gon: Let's go!

Michelle: Yes, lets. *Walks off with Qui-Gon*


	4. Smuggling and Groundings

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter 4: Smugglers and Groundings

AN: Michelle: Somebody save me…

Obi-Wan: Oh relax; Dooku won't hurt you… too badly

Michelle: Are you trying to scare me again? Because it's working.

Dooku: Oh, shut up you two.

Michelle: AH! MOMMY! SAVE MEEEE! *flees in terror*

Dooku: Why do people keep doing that? At least she didn't call me a sith…

Qui-Gon: Well, since Michelle fled in terror, I suppose I'd better say it: Michelle does not own me, or anything else mentioned, to her great regret.

Qui-Gon had just gotten the alcohol into he and Obi-Wans apartment when the lights came back on. "Whew." He thought. "Just in time!" Obi-Wan slipped into the apartment behind him. The two silently stashed the booze. Qui-Gon didn't ask about who Obi-Wan had been arguing with. The two worked in utter silence.

Michelle was scared. Her lightsaber wasn't at the power box. Now that she examined the damage, it was a pretty good hit. She had managed to sever the main wires, cutting off power to the entire Temple. But that didn't matter now, her lightsaber was gone! She already felt tortured from the lecture she was sure to get for losing it five minuets after she had gotten it. She dashed back to the apartment. Her master was waiting for her. He had her lightsaber.

Michelle shuffled along the halls to the detention centre. The droid at the entrance directed her to the library chamber. She perked up. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. She opened the door and groaned. The room was full of young girls. They were all giggling about which Padawan they thought was cute, and gossiping to each other. Michelle sat down in a chair in the corner. She pulled out the book that she had been smuggling at sat down with it. Before she could even open it, she was approached by a group of girls. "So who were you spying on?" She asked in a high pitched voice. "Nobody. Why would I?" Michelle replied, feeling rather confused. "Well, duh. That's how we all got here. We were spying on cute boys and giggling, and that stuffy librarian kicked us out." Another girl looked up from filing her nails. "Yeah, that person is _sooooo_ uncool." Michelle glared. "Oh, I remember you. Joanne Demarche, spying on a certain Obi-Wan Kenobi. I gave you detention for a week. I am that uncool person. Thanks _so_ much for that." Michelle's book addiction prompted her to volunteer at the Temple's library. She had a bad headache that day, so she had been on a short temper. "Michelle plopped down and opened her book, effectively ending the conversation.

AN: Michelle: Well, how was it?

Obi-Wan: I'm getting stalked in libraries now?

Michelle: Yeah, I thought it sounded like something fan girls would do.

Obi-Wan: Yeah, I've seen weirder.

Michelle: Well, I'm being screamed at to go to bed, so I suppose I'll be able to post this tomorrow. I have a question for my readers. Do I seem like a bit of a Mary Sue to anyone? That is honestly the last thing I want. Constructive criticism is welcome, if you have a problem with the story, don't tell me that I suck, tell me what the problem is. Although I haven't had any bad reviews yet…


	5. Council Meetings and Decorations

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter 5: Council Meetings and Decorations

The Jedi council was meeting. Another important issue had to be dealt with. What type of decorations should they have? Shaak Ti and Yoda had united together for red and green decorations. Yrael Poof wanted white ones, and Mace wanted purple ones, to match his lightsaber. After a heated debate, Yoda and Shaak kicked everyone's butts. The decorations were ordered immediately. It was another successful council meeting.

Outside, people began to collect and give credits. Every year people made bets on what would happen. Dooku collected some credits from a couple different people, and then collected credits for his Padawan, who was still in detention. Then he heard fifteen angry banthas stomping down the hall. He sighed. His Padawan was out of detention. And she was looking for blood. His blood. Then he remembered his mistake. He had given her back her lightsaber. He considered the best course of action for a while, mulling it over in his head. Then he decided to run for his life.

Michelle watched him go with a smirk. He could run, but nothing, and she meant nothing, could hide from an angry Michelle.

AN: Sorry about the short chapter. Curse you writers block! Anyways, next chapter I plan to start answering reviews next chapter. So send some in! Or, better yet, press that shiny button down there. Then type what you think of the story. Pretty please? Anyways, I just typed this chapter to fill the gap of me not writing. I am so sorry; I was attacked by an evil demon that goes by the name of Writers Block. This was a filler chapter for all of you that are probably going insane waiting, and I apologize deeply to all of you. Please review, and if you ask, I will try to give you a cameo appearance in the next chapter. Once again, I am very, very sorry about the wait. I hope that it will never happen again. I managed to type up one shots, and I had plenty of ideas for pretty much everything but this story. Seriously people, let's join the fight against writers block. It drives millions of author's nuts every year! If I take a while updating again, it's because I am once again under siege. I apologize to all my fans, writers block hates me. Alot.


	6. When Padawans Attack

The Jedi Temples Christmas Party

Chapter 6: When Padawans Attack

Michelle stormed down the hallway. A few people got in her way; they were instantly force-pushed into a wall. She reached the doors of the council chamber. A few people were still lingering, counting the credits they won or scheming to get back what they lost. She grabbed the person nearest to her.

"Where did Dooku go?" She growled, her lightsaber ignited and pointed at the guy.

"D-d-down t-the hall! Don't hurt me!" He cried out. Michelle put him down. Her 'saber still ignited, she ran down the hall. She reached out with the Force and found her master. Grinning at his panic, she pulled him to a stop. She casually strolled up to him.

"Master, I am very sorry about this, but the horrible people you dumped me with destroyed my book, tied me to a chair and slathered me with make-up. I managed to get free and fight them off with a pointy nail file, but you are going to have to pay. It took me half an hour to wipe that grease off. I have a little surprise for you. Here's a hint: it rhymes with shooter and will be very unpleasant for you." She said, grinning evilly. "Since I like hunting you down, I'm giving you a head start. If you can cower from my wrath for an hour, I'll spare you. Now give me what I won betting and get the heck out of here. Come on, I want to see you run!"

Dooku sprinted down the hall. He didn't know how much time he had before she would start hunting him; he knew he had to move fast. He supposed that he was rather lucky. A head start was surprisingly kind for his Padawan when she was angry. He ran into the speeder bay. He leaped into his speeder, started the engine and drove for the nearest book shop. He had seen his Padawan leaving with Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. He would get her two copies of the book. Hopefully his Padawan would be appeased with that…

Michelle: Wow that was fun to type. Oh, and as to the shooter thing, another hint is that my male kitten is having it done to him in less than a week. Thank you Wolf for that particular thing. I took it from her story, Craziness, Candy, Jedi Knights and WHAT? It's quite funny, if you haven't read it yet you should. I hope you enjoyed that chapter. Now then, on to the reviews!

JDWolfe: Yes, there always is. I thought readers might like little roles. The offer stands for all other chapters by the way. I just thought, ah what the heck. You never know where you might show up!

Olen Jedi ikuisesti: You're welcome! I thought it was a wait. I might have over reacted…

Zero Reaper: You are far too kind. But thanks for the link! I loved it!


	7. A Moment Of Maul

The Jedi temples Christmas Party

Chapter 7: A Moment of Maul

AN: Oh, crud. Yes my loyal readers, I have been struck by writers block. Please, I apologize to you all. Anyways, I've been reading Wookiepedia, and I discovered the identity of Dooku's master. I also have decided that Darth Maul and Sideous deserved a mention together. Now then, I present the new chapter!

Darth Maul and Darth Sideous sat down to their dinner. The Senator rarely got to sneak away to their business meetings, so the two enjoyed the chance to just have dinner as friends, not two evil guys trying to destroy the galaxy.

"So, Maul." Sideous began. "I've been looking at possible apprentices. "Maybe that Dooku guy?"

Maul choked on his blue milk.

Michelle was quite pleased with herself. She had two shiny new copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and about 700 credits from betting. Technically, Jedi weren't allowed to gamble, but she didn't consider it betting. She considered it an investment. She quickly changed into a new tunic and grabbed a different set of robes. She, Obi-Wan, her Master, and Qui-Gon were going over to Master Thame Cerulian's quarters for dinner. He was a bit odd and had a habit still calling her Master his Padawan, Michelle and Qui-Gon his "grandpadawans", while Obi-Wan got labeled as his great-grandpadawan. Checking her chrono, she realized she was almost late. She grabbed her lightsaber and a light blue ribbon and dashed down the hall. As she ran, she clipped her lightsaber on, undid her braid, and re-did it with the ribbon in it. One of her fellow Padawans, Soara Antana, had given it to her as a present when Michelle became a Padawan. Arriving at the door, she knocked and waited. A middle aged man with short brown hair threw open the door.

"Erika! It's good to see you!" He yelled. Michelle rolled her eyes.

"My name's Michelle. Michelle Erika Smith." He looked a bit lost for a second, but he wheeled around.

"Come in, come in!" he yelled over his shoulder. Michelle grimaced and followed him in. It was going to be a long night.

Michelle: Well, how was it?

Ygabba: Hello!

Michelle: What the heck! You're not even born yet! And you live on Tatoonie!

Ygabba: Your point being…

Luke: Hi!

Michelle: Hi…

Luuke: KILL!

Luke: %&$! My evil clone's back!

Michelle: Huh, I was just reading about that.

Jourus C'Baoth: Kill Skywalker!

Michelle: You have got to be kidding me…

Anakin: I think this is just plain old weird.

Michelle: Agreed.

Obi-Wan: I'm thirsty.

Qui-Gon: Me to.

Dooku: Me three.

Thame: Me four.

Anakin: Me five.

Michelle: Let's go get milkshakes.

Everyone: Sweet!

Olen Jedi Ikutski: I have no idea why you didn't get the alert. You should look in to that.


	8. Time Troubles and a Thickening Plot

The Jedi temples Christmas Party

AN: Well folks, I've ran out of steam for this story. I am going to start looking into ways of ending it, as I hate it when an author declares a story discontinued. If I had to estimate, I'd give the story about ten chapters. Please review with ideas as writers block seems to be targeting this story in particular. Anyways, enjoy this!

It was the night before the party. Obi-Wan was sneaking around the eggnog with a few bottles of corrilian whiskey. He had faked out of dinner with master Cerulean by pretending to be sick. He and Qui-Gon had planned this night perfectly. He would fake sick to avoid dinner. During dinner he would get started on spiking the eggnog. His master would leave early to "check" on Obi-Wan. The two would meet at the storage room, and Qui-Gon would take over with the spiking. Obi would then be going back and forth from the hiding place of the whiskey to the eggnog. They would also steal a little, for them to drink. Nobody would notice the missing eggnog, as master Yoda was known for his love of eggnog and would be suspected of midnight snacking. If the troll did come looking for a bit, the two Jedi would hide and hope he grabs normal eggnog. Obi had run out of whiskey now, so all that was left to do was wait for his master. But his master wasn't coming, and he should have been there ten minuets ago. Where could he be?

Qui-Gon was actually being held up at Thames place. He couldn't make his excuse to leave, as master Tame was babbling on and on. It was literally impossible to get a word in! Although Michelle did insist on reminding him that her name was _not_ Erika, her name was Michelle. Of course he wasn't listening. So the evening dragged on and on. Qui-Gon kept staring at the chrono in frustration. When would he be allowed to just leave this stupid place!


End file.
